When I was working on my story paintings, I processed a lot of stuff. I had been journaling before, during and after I wrote my story on the foundations of those pieces. While journaling, I realized there were themes of wrongs that I felt were committed against me and my kids by my then husband. I wrote them all out and there were about 24 major things that I needed to forgive him for.
I had a trip coming up in Houston, TX in January of 2017. After checking out the surrounding area online, I saw that there was a pier nearby. I love piers! While I was looking at google maps of the area, an idea began to form. I didn’t want to be carrying around the weight of unforgiveness against my then-husband. I would throw all the yuck off the pier when I was in Houston! My thought was, what gets thrown off a pier in Houston, stays in Houston! Sounds reasonable, right?
A heavy load
I began collecting rocks. Not huge ones, even though that would have been appropriate. I did have to haul them to my destination, so they were smallish/medium, palm-of-your-hand sized rocks. (I may or may not have taken a few from various parking lots across my city…) I was actually a few rocks short when it was time to pack my bag and only had 18. I would either find more there or double some up.
This trip was right when I started traveling more than I had in my entire life, and I only had bags that I either carried in my hands or over the shoulder–I did not own a rolly bag. And I did not realize how heavy 18 smallish/medium rocks could be carrying them all at once in addition to the rest of my suitcase items. It was a burden, both literally and figuratively! At this point, I was glad I only had 18 instead of the original 24 I wanted to take.
Going through TSA Security at the airport, my bag was pulled aside. The TSA agent said, “We have to check your bag. It looks like rocks in there.” I said, “Yup! There’s rocks in there! Is there a rule against carrying rocks in your baggage?” “No, we just have to check it out. And you’re right! It’s rocks.” Told ya.
I have no idea how I managed to get that bag up into the overhead compartment as I boarded the plane. But I did and after I arrived in Houston, I had to haul it to the car rental place. My shoulders ached from the load! After getting my rental car, I set course for the pier. I was ready to be rid of that weight!
The pier of forgiveness
It was a pretty day, but windy. I hauled my bag of rocks, my journal, and some sharpie markers. I planted myself at the end of the pier next to some curious fishermen and started writing the wrongs on my rocks. With that done, I sat in prayer for a bit before taking the first one in my hand. I held it out in my flat palm, releasing it to the Lord. I mentally went through the different events that I remembered associated with that theme and consciously forgave my ex for all of them. They say forgiveness is an act of will and not of emotions. Not feeling much emotion at the time, I made myself forgive. I prayed that God would bring up anything that I might have forgotten in relation to what that rock represented. After I had consciously forgave all I could think of, I hurled that rock out as far as could off the pier. It gave a satisfying kerplunky splash as it hit the water.
Then I took the next rock and went through the same process. It took me about 3 hours to get through all of them. The day had grown cloudy during that time. But as I threw the last rock, the clouds parted and the sun shown down. It was a cool moment. The weight was gone and I was free! I stood out there a bit longer taking in the experience. Then I packed up my empty bag, journal and markers and headed to the car to go to the hotel.
Is there someone you need to forgive?
When it was time to head home, the journey thru the airports hauling my suitcase was notably easier. So, some things to ponder…
- Are you hauling around the weight of unforgiveness?
- Who do you need to forgive? Another person? God? Yourself?
- God commands us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. What do you have to lose if you do forgive?
You might have the wrong idea about what forgiveness is:
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean that the other person has to tell you they are sorry. They may continually say they are sorry and not change their behavior or they may never admit they’ve done anything wrong.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to forget what someone did to you.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean the relationship is automatically restored.
- Forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to let them continue to sin against you.
If you are tired of carrying around the heavy weight of unforgiveness, ask God to help you forgive the other person. If you surrender all of it to Him, He will set you free.
Be free, today!
